Learning To Lose

Losing (or being wrong, or not knowing, or needing help) is the most embarrassing situation for most people to be.
But this thinking does more harm than good.
Instead of just looking dumb - most people just end up being dumb.

Ali learned to box because someone stole his bike.
Tyson learned to box because neighborhood children used to tease him about his high-pitched lisp.
Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
Someone once stole Fiddy's bike.
Oprah was abused.
Obama was raised by a single mama.
...
All of these started out with a loss.
None of these people let their situation become more important than their goal.

The hardest thing to teach kids (and many adults) is for them to accept a loss as part of a larger victory.
Many think that they are always supposed to know, are always supposed to be able to do, or are always able to have.
Few understand that there is no shame in failing - that there is only shame in not trying.

I can't stand pocket quarterbacks who are only able to function under ideal circumstances and protections.
I prefer option quarterbacks who can improvise and take actions into their own hands.
But many of today's children are coddled more than are Tom Brady or Peyton Manning.
Many are prevented from falling from a tree, falling from their bike or even getting into a fight on the block.
Many then turn to structured 'dangers' to test their skills without the consequences offered by a real defeat.
Many have a false sense of confidence built upon a false sense of accomplishment which will not hold up in the real world.

I have a young cousin who was getting picked on by one of the older boys on the block.
Being that they were about the same size, I let them them fight in the front yard until my cousin suffered thirteen defeats in a row (all on the same day).
The next day these boys were at it again.
After learning the other boy's weaknesses - my young cousin was able to exploit them to ensure a victory most of the time.
After the other boy began to lose more than he'd win - the other boy decided that it was better for the both of them to just be friends.

My young cousin was then not afraid to hit or to be hit.
He had suffered defeats and learned that they weren't the end of the world.
He had enjoyed victory and learned that it was not a time to oppress another.
So what's the point of all this?
Only that one should just say, "Eff You" to anyone who tells them that they cannot do something (Even if one has failed at an earlier attempt).
That it's okay to say, "I don't know.", "I need help.", or "I was wrong.".
That when one finally obtains victory - even ones enemies will begin to show respect.