Monday, January 31, 2011

I'm Better Than You

 What's our fixation with being better than everyone else?
Isn't it better just to be ones best self?
 I come from a family which has been free since long before the beginning on the Civil War.
The lighter skinned Black children of slave owners in Louisiana were often given educations and the rights and ownership of property.
My Families have donated land for churches and schools for their communities.
As someone recently said to me, "You have a good name."
But I am not my name.
I am not defined by what those who came before me did or did not do.
I am not defined by membership in any group or organization.

But many members of my family think that they are better than those around them.
My grandmother was member of the first class to integrate the nursing program of a local university.
But the thing I could never stand was her constant need to become a member of some 'exclusive' group.
Why join a sorority which is just an imitation of that which you claim to despise?
The thing I could not understand was that most of these groups were founded to exclude others because those founding these groups were excluded from joining the parallel white groups.
 If I have to sit through another affectational cotillion which favors light skinned Blacks over the darker ones I'm through.
 If I have to listen to the 'Sisters' of my grandmother, aunts and cousins tell me how 'important' the Eastern Stars are I'm joining the Klan.
 If I have to listen to another pitch from the 'brothers' of my grandfather, uncles or cousins in the Prince Hall Masons or Knights of Peter Claver for membership I'm leaving town.
 If I have to hear someone brag about membership in Jack and Jill I'm moving to the hood.
Hint: If you need classes to learn the social mores of a certain class, chances are that you are not a member of that class.

Sure, sometimes I'll use these connections when it suits me.
Like Paul in the Bible stressing his Roman citizenship when it suited him, I'll mention my family ties to get people to just shut the eff up.
But most people in the South still think we are living in the Antebellum South.
Many of the traditions here go back hundreds of years.
Most ways of thinking are still those of centuries past.
When I tell someone that they are not limited to the thinking of others, "That's because you're light", or "have good hair", or "come from a good family", most say.
But shouldn't this carry even more weight?
If I was poor, dark, had bebees and was actually ugly - wouldn't those hearing this think that I was only saying that these traits didn't matter because I didn't have those traits often thought to be superior?

Look, people are going to be treated as being inferior as long as they think that they are inferior.
People are going to settle for less as long as they think that's all they deserve.
Until people begin to exercise their free will and exert their personal responsibility/authority they will always be subjugated by another group.
People are going to chase status until they realize that the trick is to let those who have status seek them.
People remain in the hood for generation after generation because many believe that that is where they belong.

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